“So Rachel, I understand you’re thinking of leaving us. After only two weeks. I’m disappointed.”
“Well, I’m sorry Mr. Masters, but this job... it just isn’t what I expected.”
“Oh? How so? Is the compensation too little?”
“No, the pay’s great. Really.”
“You don’t like the hours? The work is too demanding? You aren’t getting support?”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. The job’s fine, really. It’s just, the.... atmosphere here is, like, not comfortable.
“Hmmm, perhaps you had better explain. But first, close the door. I don’t want us to be disturbed. Here, have a seat. Now my dear, tell me what is so unsettling about the office.”
“Thank you. Well, all right, if you must know. It’s little things, mostly. The people here are like... just odd.”
“Are they unfriendly?”
“No, not at all. They’re all friendly. Real friendly. Everybody treats me like a dear childhood friend, and I’ve only been here for two weeks. They keep doing things for me. Buying me lunch, taking me out for drinks, taking me shopping. It’s almost embarrassing.”
“Surely you can’t be thinking of quitting because the staff are too friendly!”
“Well, that’s just the thing. Sometimes they seem more than friendly, like, almost... I don’t know. There’s so much touching and hugging all the time, I wonder if they’re... you know. It seems like every time I sit down somebody has their hand on my thigh.”
“Rachel, are you telling me that a few hugs are enough to make you quit your job?”
“No, no, but there’s more than that. Look, to start with, you have what, 12, 15 people working for you, right. And they’re all women. Why aren’t there any men?
“Well, as a matter of fact, that’s deliberate on my part. It turns out that women prefer this line of work. Men tend to be too... fidgety. They don’t have the patience for the long hours in front of a computer. I find I get better performance from a female staff.”
“Is that legal?”
“Probably not. But somebody would have to complain for the authorities to make me do something about it. So far, nobody has.”
“Well, I just might. I don’t think I believe your smug explanation at all. Besides, I’ve noticed that all the women in your office are single, childless, and under the age of 30. And anybody can see they’re all lookers. Every single one of them. It’s like, way sexist.”
“Oh, does someone feel threatened? Uncomfortable with competition in the beauty department? Well, you can relax, my dear. Surely you must know you’re the best-looking woman in the entire office, hands down. Even with that cute frown on your face.”
“Mr. Masters! That is quite enough of that! I didn’t come in here so you could leer. Comments on my appearance are unwelcome and, like, inappropriate.”
“Yes, of course, of course. I didn’t mean to upset you. By the way, that’s a lovely little dress.”
“Oh... well, thank you. I like it. A couple of the girls took me out shopping yesterday, and... Wait a minute! This has nothing to do with anything! I’m trying to explain to you why I’m quitting.”
“Indeed. So far, it seems the staff are too attractive and too friendly. Sounds like grounds for a lawsuit to me.”
“Very funny. Look, the whole office just creeps me out, OK. Like, all those women are obsessed with their appearance. I swear they spend half their time primping and the other half shopping. They’re like a bunch of boy-crazy teenagers. Fashion, fitness and fella—uh, fellas is all they ever talk about.”
“Well, be reasonable, Rachel. Young women do tend to be concerned about those things. You yourself commented that the staff is predominantly young, single women.”
“Yeah but this goes like, way beyond normal. Come on, you must have noticed how everybody dresses around here. The whole place is like a fashion show run by a voyeur. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody in pants. It’s all tight sweaters and micro-minis and...”
“Speaking of which, that little thing you have on would certainly qualify as a mini, wouldn’t it? I’m enjoying a great view of your lovely thighs, my dear.”
“Well, yes... but... this is different. I just bought this yesterday, and, like I wouldn’t dress like this every day. I mean, it’s just for... and I shouldn’t have crossed my legs like that. Look, can we please get back on topic?”
“Sorry. I admit I find your legs a very pleasant distraction.”
“Oh, thank you. That’s sweet—no, wait. That’s wrong. Forget about my legs! We were talking about this office. You have about a dozen young women working here, all of them dressed like they’re on their way to a fetish club. And all they seem to care about is their work.”
“Rachel, you just said all they care about is clothes and men.”
“Well, besides that. They’re so devoted to their jobs it’s like, creepy. Even the lowest clerks act like their in love with the company. They gush about it around the water cooler. They act like it’s some sort of great honour to work here.”
“Young lady, there is no shame in being happy with your job. Dedication is a virtue I value highly. We often have strict deadlines in this line of work.”
“Yes, sure, I know, but again, this office is just weird. They’re almost fanatical. They treat it like some higher calling. The other day, in the pub after work, I asked a bunch of them if they would jump to another job if the pay were better. Not one of them said yes. They seemed insulted by the suggestion!”
“As I would be. I take good care of my employees and I see nothing wrong in the fact that they appreciate it. That’s why I am so disappointed that you have chosen to leave us.”
“Well, I’m sorry, Mr. Masters but this place is just too strange. The level of commitment of these women is—look, I popped in on the weekend, just to tidy up a few things. Can you believe almost half the staff was here? They were all bopping around, working on their projects and stuff, like it was Tuesday afternoon instead of Saturday morning. Everybody was as happy as can be. They were all dressed in the same wild, sexy stuff they wear during the week. Or maybe even less. I mean—”
“Rachel, really. You accuse my staff of excess dedication, as if there could be such a thing. Yet weren’t you coming to work on Saturday too?”
“Uh, well, yes, I, I suppose so. But, but I was just there for a few hours, you know to finish off things. I wasn’t like humming while I worked. And there’s another thing.”
“What now? The staff are too polite as well?”
“Go ahead and joke while you can. I was talking to Angelica, that luscious blonde who does your bookkeeping. You know her, right, she’s always decked out in spandex and those platform boots with the super-high heels?”
“Like you’re wearing.”
“Well, uh, yes, now that you mention it they are sort of similar. But the thing is, Angelica wears boots like this every day! These are just for today... well, this week; I just bought—look, will you quit trying to change the subject!
I happen to know that Angelica is fucking the boots. Omygosh, what did I say! I meant, fudging; fudging the books. She as much as told me so. She says she keeps two sets of records, one for you, one for the tax man. And the weird thing is, she didn’t seem the least bothered by it. I think she was proud of what a good job she was doing fondling my boobs—I mean, fucking the books, er, whatever. Don’t tell me this is normal!”
“No, it certainly isn’t. She shouldn’t be talking like that at all. I’ll have to tighten up security. Excuse me while I make a note.”
“Mr. Masters! I am not here to help you with your tax evasion! Look, just because all the other women here worship you like a sultan doesn’t mean I have to. Oh, that’s the thing that really gives me the willies. It’s like every girl in the office is in love with you! Everything they do is for you. They dress to make you notice, they work so hard to make money for you, they hang on every word you say. They seem to base their entire perception of happiness on your approval.
“And that’s not all. Their devotion goes beyond eager servitude to your company. They all want to serve you. Like sex slaves. To give you their bodies for your satisfaction. It comes up in conversation. Oh, nobody says anything outright to the new girl, but I’m not dumb. I see the dreamy looks and the moistened lips. These girls get turned on every time you walk by! And don’t think I haven’t noticed the lovestruck lovelies disappearing into your office, or the stupid, satiated smiles on their faces when they come out. Why, some of the girls even call you “Master.”
“Masters is my name.”
“I said Master. Without the ‘s’. As if they were silly, sexy slaves in your horny harem. They seemed to enjoy saying the word. I’m sorry, Master—er, Mr. Master, but I’ve had enough of this. I’m out of here.”
“Now hold on just a minute, my lovely. Don’t go anywhere just yet. You are very perceptive about how my company operates. I think you deserve an explanation. You’re right, my girls are very dedicated.
That’s because they’re hypnotized.”
“What? Hypnotized?”
“That’s right. Hypnotized. All of them. Well, technically it’s subconscious suggestions coupled with pleasure rewards, but it amounts to the same thing. I hypnotize my staff.”
“Why? So you can make them crawl around on all fours and bark like a dog?”
“Ho ho. Hardly. No, I did it originally just to improve productivity. You see my dear, it’s hard to get good help these days, and even harder to keep it. Especially in a computer-based industry. There’s so much competition. So much staff turn-over. Employees are always running off to a better job, or getting married and moving away, or just quitting for no good reason, like you. So I started thinking about better ways to motivate, to instil a little dedication in my staff. I came up with hypnotism.”
“But I thought—”
“Yes, you’re right, hypnotism can only make people do what they want to do. I got lucky. I stumbled on a way to couple the hypnotic suggestions with visual and audio stimuli that promote pleasure in the brain. It’s wonderfully effective. Very quickly the mind starts to equate the suggestions with happiness.
“So you see, the girls in my office don’t just think pleasing me makes them happy, it really does make them happy. Yet the staff are always doing just what they want to do, even when they’re lying on my desk getting their lights fucked out.”
“Master! This is heinous! How did you...”
“Oh, it’s all done with subliminal images on the computers, my dear. The ones you have been using since you started. I always give my new girls lots of computer time.”
“How, how long...?”
“Depends on the individual. You seem a little more stubborn than most. But nobody has held out past about two weeks.”
“Two weeks! But, but, I don’t feel any different.”
“Are you sure? Why don’t you try thinking about me for a moment. Think about making me happy.”
“Master this is ridiculous. I don’t see how... oh, oh my!”
“You were saying?”
“Oh! Oh my gosh, this feels so... so... makes me feel all warm ‘n’ tingly.”
“Nice, isn’t it? Getting stronger too, I bet.”
“ohgodohgodohgod that is just... mmmmmm, so....yummy!”
“It’s the feedback, you see. The more you think about pleasing me, the better you feel, and that makes you want to please me even more.”
“Mmmmmm, Masterrrrrr!”
“Why don’t you give yourself a little relief. I expect you’re dying to play with yourself right now.”
“No, Master, I couldn’t! Not here, not right in front of... ....aaaahhhh.”
“Go ahead. By this time you’re probably not wearing any panties, so that’ll make it easier.”
“N-no p-panties? What, why aren’t I... oh shit, this skirt is so short and I’m not wearing.... ah fuck it that feels niiiice.”
“Enjoy yourself, my dear. By the way, you aren’t thinking of quitting now, are you?”
“Wha? Qu-quitting? Oh Master I couldn’t! I want this job! I need it! Please, darling, don’t make me go away.... mmmmmm this feels goody goody gooood!”
“I don’t know, you were pretty rude a few minutes ago. Sounded to me like you didn’t want the job.”
“Please! I’m sorry, Master! I want my job. I want it! I want to please you. I’ll be good, Master, I promisssssse. I’ll do anything you say, anything! Just please please please let me keep my job!”
“Hmmm, I’ll tell you what. If you wiggle that fantastic bod of yours over here and give me a really special blow job, I might just re-consider letting you stay on.”
Oh, thank you Master! Thank you! Please, let me blow you. God I’m so horny, I’ll suck you like no one ever has before. Gimme gimme!”
“Ahem. Rachel, aren’t you forgetting something?”
“I—I am? Forgetting? Oh, yes. I, I should be... down here, on the floor... like this... yes, that feels so much better.”
“And?”
“Arf! Woof! Woof! Bark!”
“That’s a good girl. Now sit up and beg, and I’ll give you a nice bone....”
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