Jan 16
Okay, I haven’t written for a while. I have a bit of catching up to do. I’ll tell you what... I’ll make it (another) one of my new years resolutions to keep up on my diary.
I have so much to write. I’m blown away by everything that’s happening.
The fall semester was my best yet. I really dug in and took the top spot in class. I feel like I’m really in my element now.
There’s also a new man in my life. Kind of sudden, I know, but it just feels right, and I’m definitely not going to rush things. School is still my top priority by far. I met him at school in fact. He was there trying to promote psychiatric medicine as a speciality. He sold me on the first try.
Well, I’ll consider it, at least.
His name is Simon Rodman, and he’s quite a prominent figure in the psychiatric community. He’s the chair of the local board, thus his trip to the medical school to promote psychiatric medicine.
I’d say he’s in his mid-thirties, not that I’m worried about age at all. In fact, it’s kind of a bonus. He’s mature and established. He has his own house, is the head of his department, and just seems to have it all together. An independent man is the only type I can handle right now.
He’s so unlike the flaky guys you find in med school. I’m always surprised by how immature these guys are. I dated a couple of them early in my time here. Both were overconfident. They truly thought that they would roll right through medical school and drop effortlessly into a lucrative career. Wrong. They both failed out during the first year.
Well, obviously, I couldn’t keep going out with any guy who doesn’t have the brains to focus on his studies.
Simon is the opposite. He’s intense, bright and ambitious. It’s no wonder he’s the chair of the local board of psychiatric medicine. He was born to lead. And... he’s good looking too.
I’ll admit, it all sounds just a little too perfect. If there’s anything about this guy I don’t like, I haven’t found it yet. We got to talking after his information session, and ‘just drinks’ turned into so much more. We’ve seen each other five times in the last two weeks.
Don’t worry... I’ll write again soon.
Amber
Jan 22
Don’t look at me like that. A week is soon.
God... I’m cracking up... I’m actually arguing with my diary.
I saw Simon again four times this week. Yes, I know should slow things down, but he’s been really understanding about my time commitments at school, and he always gets me home early. Actually, he’s very supportive of all my ambitions, and seemed quite impressed that I was making it through on a full scholarship. Like I said before, everything about him seems perfect.
Not quite.
I shouldn’t complain. I guess everyone brings along emotional baggage.
The fact that his baggage happens to be a local celebrity...well, that’s what’s bugging me. Her name is Janey Swayne, and she’s a news bunny. I call her a ‘news bunny’ because it would be unfair to other broadcasters to call her a newscaster. Sure, she reads the news, but her function is clear. Giggles. Mindless banter. Light hearted stories. The other guy handles the hard news... Janey is the whipped cream on the side. This isn’t just jealousy talking. I thought she was a twit long before I even met Simon.
They went out for over a year, and I think he’s still a little hung up on her. I shouldn’t be trying to analyze him this way. He’s the psychiatrist in the relationship, after all. I just can’t help but think that he kept her as a bit of a trophy. Every guy in the city probably envied him.
Big blue eyes. Cute little nose. Perfect teeth. I’ll not mention what else.
He wasn’t keeping her around for good conversation, that’s for sure. And if he’s going out with me, he doesn’t like his women dumb. Anyhow, I just think his ego might be a little bruised by losing his ‘status symbol’.
She dumped him on New Years eve. I didn’t get too many details. Apparently, she left him because he ‘couldn’t give her everything she was looking for. ’
Go figure. He sure seems like a catch to me. He’s bright, good looking and respected. I don’t mind saying that he’s a fantastic lover, so that certainly wasn’t the problem. I’ve done things with him that I wouldn’t have tried with any other guy. No... I’m not going to write them down.
Okay, now I’m going to feel a bit silly for even writing this. It’s still a little early to say that I’m falling in love, but even now, I can’t help but think about what it would be like to marry Simon. I know it must be just the little girl in me, dwelling on some Princess Di induced fairy tale wedding fantasy. He’s just the kind of romantic guy to bring out those sorts of feelings.
He gives me flowers on every date. He cooked dinner for me last night at his amazing waterfront house. I know it’s irrational, but some part of me just wants to be swept off of my feet, and walk down the aisle with him. I can just imagine him taking me on a tropical honeymoon, only to return to his beautiful home, with two dogs and a white picket fence thrown in for good measure.
Before you get any funny ideas, yes... I’m way to practical to really consider it. The last thing I want to do is resign myself to being just a doctor’s wife. But if I didn’t write it down somewhere, I think I’d just explode.
I’ll try to write again in the next two weeks. My course work is picking up again, and I don’t want to get behind.
Amber
Feb 3
I met the air-head last night. Yep. Janey Swayne, newsbunny extraordinaire.
Things have been coming along great between Simon and I. It feels like we’ve been together for much more than a month. Last night, he took me to a charity fund raiser, where we had dinner with some of his friends. Very elegant. It was turning out to be a wonderful evening until she showed up.
I could tell right away that Simon was nervous, and the way he watched her made me more than a little uncomfortable. I’m not normally the jealous type, but there’s no way that I’m going to keep on going out with Simon if he’s hung up on a card-board cut-out like Janey Swayne. How can I possibly compete with a media fabricated image ?
At one point, Simon excused himself to make a phone call, and not two minutes later, I got to meet Janey in person. She came to the table and sat in Simon’s empty seat. A tense silence spread over the table, as Simon’s friends exchanged glances. They all knew about the painful break-up.
“ Oh, hi... you must be Simon’s new girl, " the petite blonde cheerfully greeted me. Even in this awkward situation, she seemed about a quarter of a second away from a giggle.
“ I’m Amber, " I offered.
“ Good to meet you, Amber. I’m Janey Swayne, " she said, as if the two parts of her name were inseparable.
“ Yes, I’ve seen your show, " something about the way she flipped her hair made me want to claw her eyes out. How could Simon have gone out with a bimbo like her ? I settled on making some not-so-polite conversation. " I’ll bet you’re glad they got someone else to do the weather reports now, with all of those big words and everything. ”
There were chuckles from around the table. I continued.
“ And, of course, it must give you more time to do those in-depth reports. Like that wonderful story you did on holiday baking secrets. That was a real nail biter. ”
My comments didn’t even make a dent in her sunny smile.
“ I’m so glad you enjoyed it, " she said brightly. Her eyes roamed over my body appraisingly. " From the looks of things, you enjoyed those fattening holiday snacks more than most. ”
I flushed red. Just because I don’t have her tiny little figure doesn’t make me fat.
“ Well, I’d better be off. I hope that Simon is happy with you, " Janey said. Then she leaned in to give me a parting kiss on the cheek, like we were old friends or something. As her lips brushed close to my ear, she whispered, “if you can hold onto him. ”
And just like that, the evening was ruined. After that exchange, I could barely face Simon’s friends. We left soon afterwards.
I desperately wanted a cigarette.
Oh, I’ve been trying to quit, by the way. Actually, there are some advantages to dating a psychologist. Simon agreed to put me into some light hypnosis to help me to quit smoking. We did a couple of sessions last week, and it worked like a charm. Until last night, that is.
Simon drove silently, his mind on other things.
“ Is it possible to use hypnosis for weight loss too?” I asked. I don’t know what got into me. I guess Janey’s remark shook my confidence a bit. I mean, it’s impossible that Simon wouldn’t compare the two of us.
“ Sure, Amber, but it’s a little hard to lose weight while quitting smoking too. It would take several intense sessions. ”
“ Fine. Whatever it takes. ”
Maybe I’m going a bit overboard. There was just something about the smug way that Janey had whispered into my ear that really got me angry. If she’s still interested in him at all, I’m not giving up without a fight.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Amber
Feb 20
Two weeks since I last wrote, but I’ve been busy. It’s been a struggle keeping up with all of my course work. I don’t know. I’m just feeling really distracted. Don’t get me wrong, my grades are still great, it’s just a real challenge to keep my mind on things.
I’ve got to stay focused. My education is my top priority.
The hypnosis has helped some with my cravings for both cigarettes and food. The addiction is still there, mind you, but I feel kind of removed from it. Like Simon’s wrapped it in a blanket of hypnosis. He’s quite good, you know. For the first couple of sessions, it took a while for me to go under. Now it’s almost instant.
I’ve dropped a couple of pounds already, and my energy levels are way up. Maybe that’s just because I’m not smoking. Anyhow, I feel so energetic that it’s sometimes hard to sit still. Sexually, it’s been amazing. Let’s just say that Simon and I definitely don’t have any problems with THAT part of our relationship.
Inhibitions be damned. I just love his big cock in my throat. He taught me to do that for him. I know it’s nasty, but he also does me in the ass every once in a while. I never thought I’d be into anything like that, but recently, I just can’t get enough.
The only thing I’m still insecure about is Janey Swayne.
I watch her on the news every night now, beginning to end. It’s a strange fixation. Maybe it’s just insecurity, but I can’t help but think that Simon is still obsessed with her. Every silly giggle she makes during the newscast, well, I almost feel like it’s directed at me. I watch her with an odd mixture of jealousy and fascination. She’s just so beautiful.
I’m ashamed to admit, but she’s even made her way into my dreams. Sick, perverted dreams. I haven’t mentioned them to Simon, as I’m afraid of what he’d think. This is the only place that I can let out my most private secrets.
We had our first argument last night. Simon and I, that is.
Actually, it was about Janey Swayne. I called his office just to say hello early in the afternoon.
“ Oh, I’m sorry Amber, he’s gone out for lunch with Miss Swayne today, " his secretary let it slip.
I was furious. He absolutely knows how I feel about that air-brained blonde. I confronted him last night before dinner.
“ Come on, Amber, don’t ruin this evening, " he tried to avoid the topic.
“ I want a goddamned explanation, or there won’t be any ‘this evening’ between us. ”
“ We went out for over a year. It’s not healthy for us to leave things unresolved. ”
What a lame excuse, I thought.
I think he could see that I was about ready to tear him apart.
“ Strawberry, " he said, almost absently, as he continued to set the table.
“ What ?” I was confused. What a strange thing for him to say.
“ Oh nothing, honey. " He pulled out a pack of matches to light up the candle on the table. Looking at the set of matches, he smiled. “Actually, Janey and I met this afternoon because she realized that she had kept my pack of matches. It was in her purse, and she just wanted to return it. ”
Finally, and explanation that made some sense.
“ I don’t know why you didn’t just say that before. Um... oh, I just lost my train of thought. It couldn’t have been that important. Let’s eat. ”
And just like that, our first argument was over almost before it began.
Oh, crap, I’ve got to go. The news is almost on.
Amber
March 5
Well, to tell the truth, things aren’t going so good in school. I don’t know why I want to be a doctor. Everything is just so boooooring. Lectures, study, lectures...blah, blah, blah.
I don’t know. It’s just plain dull, ya know ?
So I had to do this presentation for the class about a medical procedure. I prepared this thing for, like, ages. I gathered all sorts of articles, and brought charts and stuff. And then, when I was reading it out, man, even I was bored. Who needs to know this stuff ? I lost my place, like, three times.
Then the professor opened things up for questions.
“ Wouldn’t this increase total health care costs over the long term ?” asked a guy in the front row.
“ Um... you mean, like, how much is spent on health care ?”
The guy stared at me blankly for a minute.
“ Yes, that’s usually how we use the term ‘health care costs’.”
Well, my face went all red. I felt so stupid. I just couldn’t come up with an answer for his question. Eventually, the professor had to bail me out. So much for a good grade in that course.
I guess I wrote before that I didn’t want to be just a doctor’s wife. But now that I think about it, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it ? I think about it all the time, actually. I’m still daydreaming about the whole big wedding and fancy dress, and living with Simon.
He’s a really great guy.
The hypnosis is working out great. I don’t even think about smoking anymore, and my body has never looked better. As an extra bonus, my sex drive is out of this world. I can’t even wait until I see Simon anymore. I jerk myself off twice a day, whenever I get a moment, usually when I sit down to watch the evening news at six, and again at eleven.
I’m still a bit jealous when it comes to Janey Swayne, but Simon is helping me with that too (I told you he’s a really great guy).
He even invited her over for dinner a few days ago, so that we could get to know each other better. At first, I wasn’t too happy about it, but Simon has a way of making me see reason. I don’t even know why I bother to argue any more.
This time, I made dinner. It really irked me to see Simon and Janey sitting at the table, eating dinner together while I had to keep getting up and serving the meal. I barely got to sit down at all. All the while, Janey was purposely leaving me out of the conversation. That giggle of hers was driving me nuts. I got the feeling like she was laughing directly at me as I entered and left the room.
When I brought out desert, I finally had time to sit down with the two of them. Somehow, the conversation drifted to my appearance. I was self-conscious as hell, but Janey didn’t seem to notice.
“ I see you’ve dropped a few pounds, chubby...” my face burned red as she continued. " My goodness though, your hair could use a little work. Don’t you think she’d look good as a blonde Simon ?”
I cut him off before he could speak. That was the last straw.
“ I prefer being a brunette. No offence, but blondes always seem a little on the dumb side. ”
Simon bit into his dessert. " Mmmm... these strawberries are wonderful. ”
Strange. I didn’t remember putting any strawberries in the dessert. Oh well, I must have forgotten. It’s so hard to hang on to details like that..
“ Amber ?”
“ Huh.” I must have spaced out for a minute. I had missed Janey’s question.
“ I said, I think you secretly want to be a blonde, don’t you ?”
“ Um, I guess. ”
There was something wrong, but I can’t put my finger on it. It’s getting so hard for me to focus.
“ Show me your tongue, Amber. ”
“ Why in the world would I... ?” I began to get upset again.
Simon was still on about the dessert. " These strawberries are so very fresh. ”
I completely lost my train of thought.
Janey leaned forward to look at my tongue. " Come on, you want to show it to me, don’t you ?”
Well, I couldn’t think of a reason why not. I extended my tongue for her to look at.
“ You know what’s really cool ? Some girls get their tongues pierced, and put in little metal studs. That would look really good on you. Besides, " Janey winked at me, " the things those girls can do with their tongues would drive you wild. ”
Now that she mentioned it, that sounded like a really good idea. I was beginning to be glad that Simon had invited her over.
Maybe we’ll be good friends after all.
Amber
March 29
Hey, things are looking up ! Simon totally supported my decision to quit med school. He and Janey are so supportive of me. Like, now that I’m off of the scholarship money, Simon has let me move in to the maid’s room in his big house on the beach. What a relief. I don’t have to think about money any more.
Now I’m going to cosmetics school, to learn how to do hair and make-up and stuff. I’m doing real good too. I think the teacher likes me because I let her use me as an example for the class. She coloured my hair a real neat shade of blonde, and you know, Janey was right... it looks great !
I got studs in my tongue too. Those were painful at first, but I really like them. Sorry to be dirty, by Janey really loves it when I get my tongue ALL the way up her ass with the new studs. She could go for hours like that.
I know... I didn’t think I’d do it for her either, but it’s the least I can do, really. I mean, when I’m done in cosmetics school, she’s going to get me a job at the station, doing make-up for the news. Wow ! I’ll be doing make-up for real celebrities.
The girls at school flipped when I told them that.
Janey stays over most nights in Simon’s room. Okay, I’ll only admit this in my diary, but at first, I was just a little bit jealous. But it’s not so bad, really. They even let me come up and join them sometimes, once all of my chores are done.
My chores ? Well, since I’m staying in the maid’s room, Simon can’t have a maid, so it’s only fair that I do all the stuff that she would do. Like cleaning, and cooking them a late dinner, and sucking Janey’s toes while they eat.
It’s kind of tough to always know what they want me to do, and I get confused sometimes. Janey makes fun of me for being so scatter-brained, but I’m getting better all of the time. I know just the right temperature that they like their bath, and the kind of wine to bring them while they’re soaking.
As I said, if I get all of my chores done, Simon and Janey let me join them for a while in bed. She’s into all sorts of things you wouldn’t expect. Like I said, she really likes it when I use my tongue on her ass. She likes me to lick her pussy too, but usually after Simon’s done there. She thinks it’s real funny the way I lick his cum from her. She’s also really likes to use her belt on my ass. She says she needs to do it to teach a dumb bitch like me all of my lessons.
Simon doesn’t do much with me anymore, even though I’m horny as heck. Janey sometimes lets me jerk off while she uses the belt on me, but it’s a little hard to cum while she’s hitting me so hard. It’s always really intense when I do. The only thing Simon likes to do with me is fuck my ass, because Janey doesn’t let him do that to her. Janey doesn’t mind. She just watches, and encourages him to do it harder.
Janey likes to watch all sorts of things. I’m ashamed to even write it, but she likes to watch while Simon lets his dogs, well... screw me. She calls me all sorts of names, like ‘stupid dog fucker’, and encourages both of the dogs to ‘fuck that dumb cunt, and to ’ fill that stupid slut with dog cum’. This is when I cum hardest, because she lets me rub my clit while the dogs use me. Janey is finding all sorts of new things that she likes to watch me do.
Anyhow, I couldn’t be happier. It looks like everything is going to work out. It might be a while before I write again, because I really want to do good in school. Wish me luck.
Amber
May 5
Oh my gosh, I totally forgot to write after I finished in cosmetics school. I just sort of stumbled across my diary while cleaning. Lucky thing too, me being so ditzy and all, I probably wouldn’t have thought of it for a long time.
Anyhow, I did real good on the course, and Janey got me that job at her station. We spend all sorts of time together in her dressing room. She likes to get relaxed before the show, and I help her out. Well, with my tongue, if you must know. I’m getting really good at that.
Once she’s on the air, one of her bosses comes to see me and we have sex. He likes it real rough, but I don’t mind, because Janey says that it’s part of the job. And she’s getting more air time than aver, which makes her really happy.
I almost forgot the best news of all. It looks like there’s going to be a big wedding after all !
Simon proposed to Janey last week.
I didn’t know it, but he proposed once before, on New Years Eve. Janey told me all about it. She tells me everything. She says that she can trust me to keep secrets because I’m too stupid to remember them. Usually, she’s right, but this one really stuck in my head for some reason.
“ When I turned him down the first time, I told him it was because he couldn’t give me everything I was looking for. He was crushed. ”
Janey giggled. She can be a bit mean sometimes, I’ve learned. She stroked my hair as I licked her pussy before the show.
“ But he’s more resourceful than I gave him credit for. I always knew that I needed someone who would do anything I asked. To serve my whims. Simon is too headstrong. He could never be that much of a doormat. As you know, pet, I love to have someone lick me and please me for hours at a time. Simon doesn’t really enjoy that. There’s no way that Simon could give me everything I was looking for, until he found you. Now that you’re here, everything is perfect. ”
I blushed a little, because I was so happy that I could help. It makes me feel good to please Janey. But I didn’t say anything, because she was getting close to cumming, and she really likes for me to get ALL of her juices when she gets off.
Anyhow, the wedding is next month. It will be so fancy, and I’m even doing the make-up and stuff. They’re taking me along on the honeymoon, which should be real fun. They want to have me along so that I can serve them their favourite dessert.
Don’t ask me why I always blush when I think about it. Just the mention of it makes me giddy.
Strawberries and cream. Mmm.
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