“We spend hours in front of monitors. Hours,” Damien said. “But, lets face it, subliminals have always been the bastard step-child of our industry. Too slow, too hard to target. But these become positives when we take the long view—and we do.”
Elizabeth Vines
NOVEMBER 5TH IS POST YOUR TITS DAY ON FACEBOOK. Change your profile picture to your boobs! You don’t have to be wearing any clothes, lol! Lets all put our twins online and strike a blow for I guess breast cancer!
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Aww yeah, gonna let them breathe on the 5th! Ugh does anyone else feel like they’re SUFFOCATING in these huge bras? Boobs need to breathe!So wait, should they be in bras or not? Are we going full topless?Gotta be topless. I think topless. Why not. I like showing them off lol598 people like this.Ugh I’m so disappointed by all my fellow women letting their tits do the thinking. Everyone is so boob-crazy these days.Sounds like someone needs some Pink! Cream.Sounds like someone needs to orgasm.
The Office Drone
Queen Bee
You’ve already probably seen the writing on the wall, but it’s time to make it official: ta-tas are now acceptable for the business environment. Yes, your twin pups can now be safely revealed without instantly making you into the office slut—unless that’s what you’d like to do.
I know we all fought back against the obvious facts of our expanded assets. I know we all tried to just wear bulky sweaters—even when it was 80-odd degrees outside. Or make our poor button-down blouses fit over big boobs. But button-downs like a little silly on heavy chests—too much tit-tent going on. It’s time to get real and let the girls sing.
First step is to embrace the V-neck. Yes, it creates a big-window, and Tom in the corner office is going to eye your assets for months to come. But guess what, a V-neck is ideal for swells and it’s going to be the cornerstone of the new office girl.
Second, the tube top. I know. Whoa. Boob-city. Try and get one with a lot of detail elements to TRY and keep the guys from sweating all over your body. And when they do, just roll with it. Be comfortable with your titties, they’re a part of you.
Finally, your legs. Use them. Guys like to treat a girl with big suckable boobs like an ornament. Give back the entire package—a knockout, drag-down sexy bitch body that will leave him weak in the knees. Don’t be afraid to drift well north of the knees—remind him you’re not just a pair of tits. You’re an amazing pair of legs, too.
And remember the golden word: RESPECT.
Dear Diary,
Anime Club today was a huge failure. A huge FUCKING failure. There, look at that, all written out in pink glitter, the word FUCK. That’s totally how I feel, diary.
Candice has been super-useless lately about the Club. Either she’s working at the bookstore or her Mom is riding her about her grades starting to slip. Plus she’s always dipped in that weird perfume she’s hooked onto. It.. it makes me feel weird.. so I try to stay out of it.
The problem is the BOYS. There are three of them. There’s Ryan and Martin and John. Ryan keeps his head shaved for some reason, and he wears shirts with a collar every day of the week. Martin is greasy. SO greasy. But… ummm… John is kind of hot.
I keep thinking about how big his dick is! What is wrong with me? I just keep watching porno once my parents have gone to bed. It’s… it’s really fun. I’ve been getting so horny these days, like EVERY NIGHT it seems like I’m jilling off in the bathroom. Ughhh. BOYS!
Anyway, back to Anime Club.
Today we watched Pretty Pink Princess. This had gotten huge reviews overseas as the next big thing, and I was really actually kind of excited. I’ve always, always, always loved it when a show has a girl character who doesn’t just simper and shriek and have love triangles. And Pretty Pink Princess was a princess of half of space who apparently fought for justice. PERFECT.
Except she totally didn’t. She fought monsters for MAYBE five minutes, then she was knocked down to Earth and apparently lost her powers or something? Because the boy in the show had to keep saving her.
She spent the last half of the show baking cookies to thank the guys. They FLASHED THE RECIPE ON THE SCREEN.
So that’s it for Pretty Pink Princess, and that’s probably it for Anime Club.
Dear Diary,
Okay, Anime Club is not quite dead. Not QUITE dead. And the solution turned out to be cookies.
I ended up downloading the episode and watching it again. And then a few times after that… like ten or twelve times I guess. It really drew me in. I even skipped my SUPER-CONFIDENTIAL movie nights.
Anyway, the guys in the show really liked it when Pretty Pink Princess baked cookies. And I was thinking, you know, what’s wrong with baking cookies? You can be a strong person and bake cookies. Guys need cookies after all their hard work fighting monsters and having huge muscles and, you know, doing guy stuff. Maybe the girls are the ones who should be baking them.
So I made cookies for the first time! Mom helped, she was shocked that I had any interest in housework, but I explained that it was all about independence and learning new things.
The boys really, REALLY liked the cookies. At first I just put them in the room, but I remembered that Pretty Pink Princess always would serve them personally. …Also I had worn this new top from Forever 21 that has a little tie that goes right underneath my boobs, like a titty-belt? So yeah.
Mmm John liked the cookies. He liked staring at my boobs, too.
We watched the second episode of Pretty Pink Princess. I’m kind of sensing a theme with this show. She got hit by a magical spell that made her lose her voice, but it worked out in the end because she realized that listening to what the guys had to say made her a better person.
At least in the last episode she wore a real skirt. This episode it was this suspenders-and-ass outfit that had her flash her panties on-screen at least ten times. LOL!
Dear Diary,
I brought the boys their rum raisin today, for anime club. Oh, and some chocolate bars for Ryan and I made coffee for Martin and brought it in a thermos for him.
Oh, sorry about that stain. My fingers are all sticky! Yeah, I can’t seem to be bothered to hide in the bathroom anymore, at least while Pretty Princess is in. Pretty much just sitting in the computer chair and masturbating. Yep. It’s lewd and kinky. I should tell John about it, haha.
I’ve been helping Mom out around the apartment. Kind of getting into housework. Pretty Princess does pretty much all the housework—she’s always making sure the beds are made and the kitchen is clean and all the dishes are done. I think in episode five all she does is vacuum, if the spoilers I’m reading are correct. I’m actually really excited for that episode.
And yeah, speaking of Pretty Pink Princess, I decided that I really did need to do a better job listening to the boys. And it turns out they have some pretty great ideas, once you show that you’re willing to listen!
Martin suggested that we stop watching super-girly stuff all the time, and move on to something else that was more ‘mature.’ I told him that that was a great idea, but that maybe we could compromise on stuff where the girls are showing a lot of boobs and butts, but there are still girls. Lots of panty shots, maybe some tasteful sex scenes, I said that that was something everyone could enjoy.
Ryan said he thought I was being bossy, and I agreed. He suggested that I be more accommodating. He said maybe I could stop dressing like ‘one of the teachers.’ I agreed that that was a good idea. (lol—I didn’t need a lot of persuasion.)
John said that he thought everything was going great, and why was I acting so weird. Or something like that. I kind of took a risk with John—I flashed him! I had this dark blue wrap dress on—it’s got those little belts I really like—and I had on three-inch heels so I’d feel more adult.
So I kind of turned to him, and oh-so-casually recrossed my legs. He must’ve seen my underwear. I wore my whitest pair. Then I just smiled at him.
It was only later that I realized that I was totally wet between my legs. Eek. I don’t think he saw. I’m pretty sure he didn’t see.
Been having SUPER-HOT dreams about John, John and me, John and me on the ferris wheel, John and me having sex on the bed, but I really want to watch Pretty Pink Princess a few more times before bed.
Dear Diary,
I saw a raw copy of Pretty Pink Princess five and it was oh-my-goodness hot. They’re really pushing the mature stuff right to the edge. Pretty Pink Princess gets caught by one the guys stealing, and to punish her, they take all her underwear. So she has to do all her chores without any underwear on, and yeah, hijinks do ensue.
She is so right that housework turns out to be pretty hot stuff, once you get into the rhythm of it. I’ve got this little skirt I like to wear while I do dishes, and I like to do them in these cheap red heels I got online. Every time I bend forward to rinse something I imagine John just pushing me forward and forward. Soooo hot.
Mom was being a little weird about the whole deal, but I sat her down and we watched Pretty Pink Princess together, and she totally loves it!! I’ve been catching her up by having her watch episode one like fifteen times in a row, and she’s just watching it with her mouth wide open. LOL! It’s so weird to have something in common with her.
Anime Club has been going really well.
I decided to cosplay as Pretty Pink Princess for the guys. I mean, she doesn’t wear like one outfit, it’s really more like ten or fifteen per episode, and they usually get pretty torn off. But I got this cheap red scoop-neck with these cute little ruffles on each tiny sleeve, and I made sure to shave my legs and stuff. There was juuuust enough spandex in it that I looked pretty hot, especially since I’ve lost a little weight what with the housework and stuff.
I made sure to give all the guys backrubs while they watched, and I had made pies.
Poor John was all anxious at first, but I kinda sorta rubbed my boobs across his back just a little bit, and he started to really loosen up. Actually he sort of rubbed my ass when Martin and Ryan weren’t looking. Gawd, so hot.
And just for a special treat, and because Anime Club has been going so very well, I made sure, when I reached over for the DVD player, to let my dress ride way up, so the boys could see just how nice and white my underwear was.
They were SPEECHLESS!
I love Pretty Pink Princess!
Mr. Markwell was in court a lot, and most phone calls were wrong numbers. So Alana had plenty of free time to burn. She had resolutely worked her way through most popular mystery novelists of the past twenty years, all the ones with their names in big letters on the cover. She had watched enough youtube videos to get a film degree at USC. But she hadn’t played facebook games. That was like telling your family and friends that you weren’t challenged in life.
And this one too, except that at least three of her friends popped up playing it. It was called Dream Girl Kate, and it promised discounts from major retail outlets, just for playing.
Alana decided to give it a try. Why not?
Dream Girl Kate involved a lot of clicking. A lot of clicking. And colors and shining lights and little ringing noises, like distant bells.
Alana looked at the computer clock. It was right there next to the screen, and yet she still hadn’t realized that it was nearly 2 p.m. She had started playing at.. when had she had her first cup of coffee? 8:30?
The object of the game was to navigate Dream Girl Kate through a very fashionable city, and to keep her career on pace, which mostly meant moving colored blocks around.
“You’ve unlocked DENIM!” the game announced.
Alana had already unlocked cotton and wool. Dressing up her little Kate-doll was apparently how the game made money—you could buy all sorts of little outfits, Barbie-style.
The game restarted. Alana moved her little blocks. Her knees fell apart.
It was 7:45. Mr. Markwell had complimented her diligence, then gone home. Alana glared at the puppet, held up by an uppity boss from getting that promotion.
An idea struck her. He was a guy, right? What if Dream Girl Kate ditched the boring little uniform of grey pants and a dark red blouse and showed willing?
But the wardrobe she had was so… stuffy. Scrolling through the options, all the free stuff was snore-inducing wool pants, or a khaki skirt, or other stuff meant for walking the dog and putting out the garbage.
There was a super cute dress for just $5, though. Just $5. Barely any money at all.
Alana tried not to take her eyes away from the screen while she pulled out a major credit card.
“You are looking very nice today, Alana,” Mr. Markman said.
“Oh! Um… thanks…” Alana mumbled. She wrenched her eyes away from the screen, gave her boss an unusually cheerful smile.
It was amazing how much easier the game had gotten, now that Kate wasn’t dressed for an interview at an elementary school. The creators of the game had very thoughtfully given her a nice rack, not too far way from Alana’s perky set. Even now, the IT nerd at Kate’s firm was checking out her assets, his little cartoon eyes popping out.
Alana giggled. It was really funny.
She was a little in the mood herself. The secretary had pulled a sporty outfit out of the closet, a sleeveless polo with a cute pink stripe across the middle, plus a pretty daring denim skirt that rode a little high even when she was 17. Alana had turned up the heat just to make the whole outfit possible.
Luckily, all her facebook friends were working together on this one. Selena had apparently gotten to second base with the really adorable sales guy two offices down, although she wouldn’t reveal how she had done it.
Alana swore, under her breath. This date wasn’t going well at all. Some whore in a halter top had bounced by, and her digitized boyfriend was checking out each inch of her ass.
Well, a bustier and a tube of bright pink lipstick would solve that little issue. Alana popped over to the wardrobe. They already had her credit card number saved. And her social security number, who knew why they wanted that.
Mr. Markman was gone all afternoon, and the door was locked. That was good, because Alana was getting pretty darn close to just fingering herself. She had figured out that she could hear the door key turn and withdraw her fingers with plenty of time to spare, so what was the problem.
The game basically played itself, anyways. She still clicked on the images and shapes, and moved some blocks around, but the game more or less did that for her. It was her job to help Dream Girl Kate through the hardships of life and love, or, more accurately, to figure out how to get Dream Hunk Brian to stop messing around and give her a vigorous deep-dicking.
She had gone frantic with the outfits. Four-inch heels. A very obvious pleated dress in white with pink highlights around the fringes, scooped to give all the internet boys a good look at her tits. And yet, Brian still kept talking about taking things slow and how he wanted to play the field.
MEN.
At lunch she had nearly run over to a tarty boutique near the Red Light district. It was where girls went when Bebe was too tame. She had picked out a plaid mini skirt that was essentially wank material for schoolgirl fetishists, on the theory that Brian would like her in it.
Kate. She would like Kate in it.
Whatever.
Her friends, online, had speculated endlessly about how to get to fucking. Most were just throwing themselves at Brian with new swim suits or obvious hints about having a good time.
Alanna flipped through page after page of outfits, already mostly purchased. Her left hand gently stroked the wet patch on her panties, underneath her skirt. Why had she even bothered to wear pants before? A job like this, you needed to kill time any way you could.
She noticed a tab underneath the clothing. It said ‘other’. The items said ‘boob job,’ and ‘lose ten pounds,’ and ‘collagen.’
They were all extremely expensive. Alanna didn’t bother looking at the price.
“Ohhhhh, Brian,” Alanna said, dazed. She leaned back in her chair, watching the screen. Most of it was taken up by an array of flashing lights and colors. In the middle her avatar, dressed up in pink, leaned over a chair. Brian fucked her relentlessly from behind. They had been at it for at least two hours.
It was… 8:05? In the morning? Alanna hadn’t quite made it home. Although she vaguely remembered a late night trek out to another boutique. A dark blue minidress, open at the back, softly clutching each little curve. It was pretty daring on a redhead, but a little money would buy her a dye job. Or a boob job. Whatever.
It had paid off. Kate had unlocked doggy-style only an hour later.
If it was 8:05, that meant that Mr. Markman would come in soon. He would find her, no underwear, dazed, credit card maxed, her lips coated in bright pink from some sort of boutique she had apparently visited during the night.
It would be Dream Girl Alanna’s greatest challenge yet.
She closed her eyes to watch the colors, and spread her legs apart, waiting for the key in the door.
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