JERSEY SHORED PART 2 OF 6: VACATIONING by Varian Milagro

Chapter 2 — Vacationing

After breakfast the next morning, Luan sat in the living room playing the piano while her father prepared for his meeting, her brother read and her mother continued her review of the economics journal. Luan loved playing the piano and she enjoyed playing for others, although playing with her mother in the room was tiring. She knew that she wouldn’t be half the pianist she was today if it wasn’t for her mother’s insistence on perfection, but it would be nice to play for fun while they were on vacation. She was currently playing Franz Liszt’s “La Campanella”. She’d yet to make it through the whole piece without being interrupted.

“Allegretto not allegro, Luan,” Ting-lan said without looking up from her crossword.

“Mother, I still need a new bathing suit before we go on the speed boat tour.”

“I know, dear. We will go just as soon as you play the piece as written. The admissions board at Julliard will care how you play the piano, not how you dress on vacation.

An hour later the ladies were at Sunset Beachwear, one of the many clothing stores located on the Seaside Heights’ boardwalk. While Ting-lan tried on sun hats Luan checked out the swim suits. She was holding up a purple one piece against her body while looking at her reflection a mirror when a guy wearing a shirt with the store’s logo approached.

“Purple is a good color for you,” the man said. He was blonde, in decent shape and looked like he was close to Luan’s age. “I’m Brad. Can I help you pick out a swimsuit?”

“Um, thank you. I’m Luan.” Luan felt her face flush.

“Might I suggest something in a two piece?” Brad grabbed a purple bikini from one of the racks. “What are you, about a size two?”

“I don’t think I should get a bikini,” Luan said.

“Oh, you should definitely get a bikini. You’d look great in one.” Brad took Luan’s hand and led her to the other side of the store. “Tell you what, just try it on and tell me you don’t like it.” He opened a door to reveal a changing room.

Luan entered the room and changed into the bikini. While the bikini bottom fit perfectly the top was a 34B and a little loose. Being in between sizes, Luan was forced to choose between too tight and too loose when it came to bras; she always went with too loose. Her mother was a perfect 36C and never had a problem picking out bras. Luan took a deep breath and stepped in front of the changing room mirror. As she looked at her reflection her face turned red. The mere idea of parading in public dressed in little more than colorful underwear shamed her, not that her mother would let her buy something so revealing.

“Are you going to come out?” Brad asked from the other side of the door.

“No,” Luan said in a quiet voice.

“Don’t you like it?”

“That isn’t the problem. I’m practically naked.”

“I can fix that. I’ll be back in a second.” A minute later Brad returned and dangled a garment over the top of the door. “Put this on over the bikini.”

Luan took the flimsy piece of cloth from Brad. It was a purple sarong with an intricate floral design. She wrapped it around her body like a towel and stepped out of the changing room.

“You don’t have that on quite right; may I help you with it?”

Luan looked around the store, her face turning an even deeper shade of red.

“Come in here.” Brad pulled Luan into the changing room, closed the door and removed the sarong. He gazed at her body for a second before saying, “There’s a lot of different ways to wear a sarong, but for you I think you’ll be most comfortable if you wear it like this.”

Brad wrapped the sarong around Luan’s neck and then tied it behind her back. It covered her torso and the tops of her legs. The outline of her body and the bikini were vaguely visible through sarong’s flimsy material.

“You are smoking this sarong, Luan.” Brad said as they both looked in the changing room mirror. “Ready to face the public?”

“Okay,” Luan said with a tiny smile.

Brad opened the door and then placed his hand on the small of Luan’s back and ushered her into the store. Ting-lan stood a few feet away, a look of horror on her face.

“Luan, what on earth do you think you’re doing?” Ting-lan said.

“Mother, this is not what you think. Brad was helping me with the sarong. That is all.”

“Get your things. We are leaving.”

“I still need a bathing suit, Mother.”

“I will buy one while you get your clothes back on.” Ting-lan turned and stormed to the other side of the store.

“I’m sorry if I got you into trouble,” Brad said.

“It is not your fault,” Luan said as she reentered the changing room.

Brad held the door open. “Listen, let me make it up to you. Let me take you dancing tonight.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. My mother will not let me go out with boys while I am still in high school. She thinks it will interfere with my studies.” Luan pulled the door closed.

* * *

Ting-lan lectured Luan the entire walk back to the house. When they entered the living room they found Kang lying on the couch. While Luan disappeared into her room to try on the swimsuit her mother had bought for her, Ting-lan checked on her husband.

“I do not think that I will go on the speed boat tour today. I am afraid that those boys injured me worse than I’d realized. Either that or I am just getting old and heal slower than before.”

“You are not old, my love. What you need is an ice pack to reduce the swelling followed by heat to improve circulation and speed healing. I will get you the ice pack and then make you a nice hot bath.”

“I can do that, you go with the Shen and Luan. I do not wish to spoil your day.”

“Dear, a speed boat tour was never my idea of fun, nursing my husband back to health sounds like a good day to me. Let the children race up and down the coast. In fact, instead of a bath, why don’t we both spend some time in the hot tub together?”

When Luan emerged from her room she was wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, having left the swimsuit her mother had purchased lying on the bed. The swimsuit Ting-lan had bought embarrassed Luan as much as the bikini had, but for an entirely different reason. Her mother had bought her an ugly, old lady swimsuit. She decided that if the opportunity to go swimming presented itself she’d just stay in the boat.

“About time you showed up,” Shen said when Luan entered the kitchen. “We need to leave right away or we’ll miss the tour.”

“Where are Mother and Father?”

“There not coming, it’s just you and me.”

Luan had mixed feelings about this. She loved her parents dearly, but a day without her mother’s micro-management would be a blessing.

* * *

Shen and Luan had a great time on the speed boat, racing along the New Jersey coast. When they stopped in Cape May for lunch, the opportunity to swim did present itself and Luan wished she’d brought the ugly swimsuit. She sat on the beach, watching her brother splash in the waves, feeling foolish in her jeans.

When they arrived back home it was nearing dinner time. They were surprised to enter the house and not smell their mother’s cooking. They looked around, but did not find their parents. They eventually checked the back deck and found the couple in the hot tub, making out. Two bottles of Merlot, one unopened and the other nearly empty sat on the bench next to a pair of wine glasses. Classical music played on the outdoor stereo.

“We’re home,” Shen announced.

Kang broke the kiss, but still held Ting-lan close to his body. “How was the boat ride?”

“It was a lot of fun,” Shen said as he gaped at his parents. While it wasn’t shocking to see his parents kiss or drink alcohol, neither he nor Luan had seen them drink before dinner or kiss with such passion. “That’s great to hear. We had fun too, didn’t we, baby?” Kang kissed his wife’s neck.

Ting-lan giggled. “Not in front of the children, sweetie.” She pushed her husband away and turned her attention to Luan. “I’m sorry for how I acted in the store earlier today. I bought you a present as an apology; it’s on your bed. What time is it?”

“It’s nearly five.”

“Oh dear, I forgot to cook dinner,” Ting-lan said as she accepted a wine glass from Kang. She took a sip. “Why don’t you two go find something to eat on the boardwalk? Your father and I had a late lunch, so we’ll stay in.”

Kang hopped out of the hot tub. He wore a new swim suit, one that was typically worn by a younger man, who was in better shape. While Kang wasn’t fat, in fact he was on the slender side for a man in his late forties, he wasn’t well muscled. He pulled a wad of cash out of his wallet.

“Here, have some fun tonight,” Kang said as he thrust the cash into Shen’s hand.

Ting-lan climbed out of the hot tub with her husband’s help. She had a new swimsuit as well. It was a one piece, but was one of the smaller one piece swim suits that Luan had ever seen. “You should give the hot tub a try before you leave though. It will make you feel like a new person.”

The couple dried each other off and Luan headed downstairs to change into her swimsuit. It occurred to her that her father’s bruises were gone and he no longer moved with pain. The hot tub must be very restorative as her mother had suggested.

A wrapped present sat on top of Luan’s bed. She opened the attached card. It read, “Luan, I am sorry for the scene I made in the swimsuit store. Brad helped me purchase this. He is a very nice and would make a good boyfriend for some lucky girl.” Luan opened the box to reveal the purple bikini and sarong. She put the swimsuit back in the box and changed into the ugly swimsuit that her mom had bought earlier in the day. She wasn’t about to wear the skimpy suit around her brother.

Shen and Luan spent a half hour in the hot tub, listening to light jazz while talking about school. Neither wanted to get out, the pulsating jets of heated water felt so relaxing, but they were both hungry, not having eaten since a light lunch over four hours ago.

After changing into their street clothes they looked around for their parents in order to say goodbye before departing for the evening. They heard them before they saw them. As they neared the master bedroom the unmistakable sounds of people having sex filled the hall. Both turned bright red; they left the house without saying another word.

Both Luan and Shen felt invigorated as they walked amongst the crowds along the Seaside Heights’ boardwalk. Anything seemed possible. They had a pocket full of cash, the night to themselves and a town built with entertainment in mind.

“What would you like to do first?” Shen asked.

“I want to eat, but I don’t want anything Chinese. I want something quick and bad for me.”

“How about hot dogs?” Shen said with some glee.

“Perfect.” Luan grabbed her brother’s hand and skipped to the nearest hot dog stand.

After a quick meal sitting on a bench, watching people walk by, Luan said that she wanted to do a little shopping. After browsing in a couple souvenir stores they entered a clothing store called, “Shore Store.” By the look of the merchandise, and the clientele, the store catered to the young, party minded set. Luan browsed the ladies t-shirts while Shen looked through the tank tops. Twenty minutes later Luan exited the shop wearing a black, off-the-shoulder t-shirt with “You Only Live Once” written in pink block letters and Shen wore a tank top that read, “Free Hugs.”

They’d only made it ten feet from the store before a busty young woman wearing gaudy jewelry walked up to Shen and said, “Nice shirt, cutie” and gave him a hug.

Shen smiled and added a swagger to his walk as he and his sister headed to Sunset Beachwear.

A smile broke out on Brad’s face when he saw Luan enter the store, but vanished when he saw Shen. The smile returned when he found out that Shen was her brother.

“I get off work in about twenty minutes,” Brad said after Luan told him what she and Shen were up to. “I could show you two around. The Casino Pier is a lot of fun.”

“I don’t think our parents would like us to go to a casino,” Luan said.

Brad laughed. “I think they’ll approve of this one.”

The Casino Pier turned out to be an amusement park. Initially Shen worried about being a third wheel as Brad led them down the boardwalk, but with Brad and Luan walking together it was evident that Shen was unaccompanied. He was stopped several times along the way by cute girls wanting the free hug his shirt offered.

Luan had a nice time at the amusement park. She didn’t care much for the rides, but she enjoyed Brad’s company and the way he doted on her. After the first ride, Shen wandered off by himself, hoping to find more girls interested in free hugs. Luan stayed with Brad and rode whatever ride he suggested. After the third ride he took her hand in hers and held it as they walked to the Ferris wheel. They held hands for the rest of the evening.

After a couple hours Luan said that it was time for her to go. She didn’t want to leave Brad’s company, but she knew that her parents wouldn’t want them staying out too late. It was already nearly nine at night and the family was typically in bed by ten. Before they tracked down Shen, Brad pulled her to off to the side of the carnival games where there weren’t a lot of people.

“I had a great time tonight, Luan,” Brad said as he held both of her hands.

“I did too.” Luan gazed into Brad’s beautiful hazel eyes.

“Can I get your number?” Brad asked as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“I don’t have a phone,” Luan said. “My father says that man survived millennia without the need to be instantly updated on every little thing.”

“Come by the store tomorrow. I get off at the same time. We can hang out again.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

Brad leaned forward and kissed Luan. It was a quick kiss that sent Luan’s heart soaring. She was in a daze as they walked around the pier, looking for Shen. The kiss had been her first and she hoped that there would be more to come on the following day from Brad.

When they finally found Shen, he was giving away a lot more than a free hug. He had a girl up against a chain link fence, kissing her passionately as she explored his back with her well manicured hands. “How was your night or do I need to ask?” Luan said as they walked back to the house.

“It was going really good until you interrupted. Why do you want to go home so bad? Weren’t you getting along with Brad?”

“I had a great time with Brad, but don’t you think Mom and Dad will want us home before ten?”

“Not from the sounds coming from their bedroom when we left,” Shen said.

As they approached the house they saw Kang pull into the drive way. He waved to them when he got out of the car.

“Just the two I was hoping to see,” Kang said.

Luan gave her brother an “I told you so” look and then said, “I’m sorry. We should have been home sooner.”

“Nonsense,” Kang said. “I was just hoping that I could have some help unloading the Explorer. After that I hope that you’ll join your mother and me in the hot tub. We’d love to hear about your evening.” Kang handed Shen a cardboard box filled with bottles of liquor and then grabbed a case of wine. “Luann, can you grab the bag of lemons and limes?”

While Shen and her father finished carrying the rest of the alcohol and mixers into the house, Luan went into her room to change. She sat on the bed for a couple minutes, trying to decide which bathing suit to wear. Earlier in the evening it had been an easy decision, she’d been too embarrassed to be seen in the bikini. Now, however, the decision was much harder. The one piece was ugly as sin. Plus, her mother had bought the bikini; it would be rude not to wear it. Luan changed into the bikini and admired her reflection. It looked good on her. She tied the sarong around her waist and wore it as a skirt. She liked the way the sarong parted when she walked, exposing her freshly shaven legs.

When Luan made it to the hot tub the rest of her family was already in the water. Katy Perry sang “Firework” over the stereo. A bottle of Crown Royal, two bottles of Merlot and a full wine glass sat on the bench next to the hot tub. Luan assumed that the wine was for one of her parents until she noticed that they each had a glass of Crown Royal and her brother held a glass of wine.

“Your swimsuit looks lovely, Luan,” Kang said as his daughter removed her sarong and then entered the hot tub.

“You are okay with me drinking alcohol?” Luan said when her mother passed her the glass of wine.

“In many cultures children much younger than you are allowed a glass of wine at celebrations,” Ting-lan said.

“What are we celebrating?” Shen asked and then took a sip of his wine.

“The best family vacation ever!” Kang said jubilantly. He held his glass out toward Luan and Shen. After clinking their glasses together he tossed back his glass of whisky and said, “Let’s get this party started!”

Luan sipped her wine, tentatively. Despite being her first taste of alcohol, she liked it immediately. Seeing her brother take a bigger drink she followed suit. Before they’d finished half the wine in their glasses Kang grabbed the bottle and refilled them to the brim.

“No empty glasses tonight,” Kang said. “What should we toast to next?”

“How about Luan turning eighteen three days ago?” Ting-lan said as she lay back in her husband’s arms.

“Excellent! To Luan being an adult.”

Luan tried to drink slowly, but her father made a toast every few minutes, and insisted on refilling her glass whenever it was less than half full. As her head spun and her vision wavered she looked over at her parents holding each other and found herself wishing that Brad was there to hold her.

“Your sister is lonely, Shen,” Ting-lan said. “While don’t you hold her?”

“What are you suggesting, Mother?” Shen said with a look of shock on his face.

“It is perfectly okay for a brother to hold his sister, especially if she needs cheering up.”

“I’m not sad, Mom,” Luan said.

“Go on and give your sister one of those free hugs you were advertising earlier,” Kang said.

Shen set his glass of wine on the edge of the hot tub, held his arms out and then said, “Come here, little sister.”

Luan looked from her brother’s arms to her parent’s smiles and then slid over and lay back against Shen’s chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she laid her head back and tucked it under his chin. She imagined that it was Brad that held her as she melted into her brother’s embrace.

JERSEY SHORED PART 1 OF 6: ARRIVING by Varian Milagro

Chapter 1 — Arriving

“How much longer should we wait for Lynn, dear?” Ting-lan asked.

Ting-lan stood outside a two story, brown shingled house with her husband, Kang and their two children, Shen and Luan. Like her husband, she had a slight Mandarin accent. Both were second generation Chinese Americans and picked up the accents from listening to their parent’s speak broken English at home. Thankfully, both children spoke fluent, accent free English and Chinese. At five-three, she was the shortest of the family and the only one who carried extra weight. Her daughter stood a couple inches taller and had the body of a ballet dancer. Ting-lan wasn’t fat, but had a fuller figure not uncommon with women in their mid-forties.

The sun was out and the smell of saltwater in the air. The roar of the ocean and hundreds of people at play came from beyond the house. To the left and right of the house were similar rectangular homes, either permanent vacation homes or more likely, rentals.

“If we had cell phones we could call her, Father,” Shen said. Like his father, he stood five-eleven and had a slender build, although age had filled out Kang’s frame whereas Shen looked like a strong wind would blow him away.

“I do not want to hear anymore about cell phones.” Kang glared at the green, white and red garage door. “I want you to paint over that this week.”

“What color, Father?”

“Confer with your mother. I only care that we no longer have the Italian flag on our new vacation home.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you suppose that is her car?” Ting-lan pointed at a Cadillac convertible with dealer plates and a temporary license taped to the back window.

“Mrs. Masterson drove a Pontiac when she showed us the house. Perhaps she bought a new car with her commission on the sale.” Kang turned to his son. “Check the front door, Shen.”

As Shen ran up the stairs to the front door, a man approached from the neighboring property. He was Caucasian and in his late thirties. He had the kind of build that looked like he’d played sports as a younger man, but now spent most of his time watching others play on television.

“Hello, I’m Jim Anderson,” Jim said with his hand outstretched toward Kang. “Are you the new neighbors?”

“I suppose we are,” Kang said as he shook Jim’s hand. “I’m Kang Huang. This is my wife, Ting-lan and my daughter, Luan. My son, Shen, will be rejoining us in a moment.”

“My wife and daughter are at the beach at the moment. I tell you, I am glad to see a family moving in to that house. We live here full time and that house has been the bane of our existence for the last couple summers. All summer long it is one non-stop party. Loud music, drugs, sex, you name it. We were thinking of moving, but then we’d heard that the place had sold and it wouldn’t be a rental anymore.”

“It is our vacation home and we are not the party types.”

“The front door is unlocked, Father,” Shen said as he rejoined the family.

“It was nice to meet you, Mr. Anderson. We will have your family over for dinner once we are settled.” Kang watched Jim depart and then said, “Everyone grab something from the car. Let’s see our new home.”

Ting-lan whispered in her husband’s ear.

“Oh yes. Luan, close your eyes and follow your mother.”

“I’ve already seen pictures of the house. It won’t be a surprise.”

Kang eyes narrowed. “Do as you are told, Luan.”

Luan shrank under her father’s glare. “Yes, Father.”

Luan took her mother’s hand and followed her up the steps and into the house. After being led around a couple corners her mother stopped, placed her hands on Luan’s shoulders and turned her body 90 degrees to the left.

“You may open your eyes, Luan,” Kang said.

A giant red bow sat on top of a black, Yamaha baby grand piano.

“Happy birthday, angel,” Ting-lan said.

“It’s beautiful!” Luan squealed. She hugged her father and then her mother. “I can’t believe you bought me a piano for our vacation home.”

“We know how much your music means to you and we didn’t want your vacation to be a torture,” Kang said.

Luan flipped open the keyboard lid and ran her fingers over the pearly white keys. “I want to play it right away.”

“We need to unload the car first,” Kang said.

“And then we’ll need to get started on dinner,” Ting-lan added.

“Is it all right if we have a tour of the house first?” Shen asked.

“That is a marvelous idea,” Ting-lan said. “We can decide on what furniture, if any, we will be keeping. A lot of it will go straight to the trash, starting with that.” Ting-lan pointed at a plastic phone in the shape of a duck.

Besides the large living room the house had a large kitchen, a dining area, six bedrooms, three bathrooms, and two large decks. The floors were all hardwood as were the walls. It was also furnished with a lot of tacky décor, mostly Italian or nautical themed items.

It was on the back deck that they finally found the missing real estate agent. She was in the eight-person hot tub, having her own little party. She had a drink in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. A pack of cigarettes and a half empty bottle of tequila sat on a small bench within arm’s reach. An empty bottle of Absolute lay on the floor of the deck. A beige pantsuit and sensible women’s lingerie draped over a lawn chair. Several glossy shopping bags with the name “One of a Kind Lady” and silhouettes of well proportioned women, sat next to the chair. In the distance the ocean and parts of the white Jersey beach were visible.

“Welcome to Seaside Heights!” Lynn shouted as she stood and shook out her long black hair. She wore a pink, string bikini that strained to accommodate her breasts and plump posterior. “How do you like your new house?”

“What is the meaning of this, Mrs. Masterson?” Kang said. His annoyance at the presumption of the realtor to use his property without permission, took a back seat to his shock over her new look. The slender Caucasian woman he’d met last month when he and Ting-lan first visited the property had been replaced by a woman desperately trying to recapture her youth. It appeared that inside of a single month she’d had her hair dyed black, spent thousands augmenting her breasts and buttocks through surgery, and spent every day in a tanning bed.

“What have you done to your body, Mrs. Masterson?” Ting-lan asked.

“I decided to get a makeover. My husband left me for some young, dumb bitch and I figured if you can’t beat them you might as well join them.” Lynn stepped out of the hot tub, took a deep drag on her cigarette and wobbled to her shopping bags. “I got all new clothes, too. Check out this dress.” Lynn held up tiny piece of sparkling black spandex.

“Please extinguish that cigarette, Mrs. Masterson,” Kang said. “I was unaware that you smoked otherwise I would have informed you that we do not allow smoking on our property.”

“Yeah, the smoking is a recent thing, so are the boobs.” Lynn hefted her breasts and smiled. “Can you hand me that towel?” she asked Shen as she pointed to a towel less than three feet away.

Shen picked up the towel. “Here you go, Mrs. Masterson.”

“Call me Lady-L. It’s my new name. Can you be a big sweetie and help dry me?”

Ting-lan pulled her son away from the shapely real estate agent. “Please give us the house keys. You may dry yourself out here and then come inside and change your clothes.”

“Okey-dokey.” Lynn reached into the pocket of her pantsuit, removed a set of keys and handed them to Kang.

While Kang and Shen unloaded the car and Lynn Masterson changed in one of the first floor bedrooms, Ting-lan and Luan familiarized themselves with their new kitchen.

“Will Shen have classes with you or Father?” Luan asked.

“He may end up in my economics 101 class, but he’ll have to wait until third year to have one of your father’s classes,” Ting-lan said. “Even then your father’s graduate students teach most of his computer science courses these days, one of the benefits of full professorship. We lowly associate professors still have to teach our own classes.”

“If I go to Princeton I hope I have one of your classes.”

“Hopefully you will be at Julliard, studying music.” Ting-lan opened a drawer and made a face. “We will be throwing out all of these kitchen utensils. It looks like some of these were never washed.”

“Will we eat out while we’re here?”

“Of course not. The food they serve in restaurants these days is vile, full of chemicals and fats.” Ting-lan pulled the drawer out and dumped its contents into a black garbage bag. She then handed Luan a pair of yellow, rubber gloves. “I want every surface in the kitchen scoured before we even think about bringing any food in here.”

“We’re on vacation, you know,” Luan said with a snotty tone.

“Do not let your father hear you talk to me in such a fashion, young lady. You may be old enough to vote, but that does not mean that you are too old for a spanking.”

“Yes, Mother.” Picking up a sponge and a 409 spray bottle, Luan got to work.

By time Kang and Shen had the car completely unloaded, Ting-lan and Luan had started making dinner and Lynn Masterson had finally emerged from the bedroom. She wore the sparkly spandex dress which barely covered her ass or tits. In addition to the tiny dress she wore a pair of platform heels, hoop earrings that brushed her shoulders, a half pound of makeup and so much perfume that people on the far side of the boardwalk could probably smell it. Despite that, Kang still invited her to join them for the family meal.

“Oh, that’s so sweet, but I need to get to Adrenaline Tattoos. I want to get some work done before I hit the clubs tonight. I want to look sweet for all those fine, sexy guidos.” She minced over to Shen. “What do you think about ‘Lady L’ in cursive right here?” Lynn dragged a long fingernail across her chest, just above her ample cleavage. When no reply came she pulled a card out of her purse and handed it to him. “Call me after you’ve spent some time in the hot tub and we can hook up.”

Shen slipped the card in his pocket as Lynn wiggled her way out the front door. Ting-lan snapped her fingers. Shen placed the card in his mother’s outstretched hand.

After dinner Luan was finally able to play her new piano. After a few warm up exercises to loosen up her fingers and verify that the piano had been properly tuned, she launched into Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in G Major. Ting-lan sat on the other side of the room, proofing an economics journal for Harvard University Press, lying up against her husband while he reviewed his notes for an upcoming meeting with Princeton’s board of regents. Shen was rereading “War and Peace”. Other than Ting-lan occasionally interrupting Luan to point out a mistake in her playing no one spoke for the next hour.

After quiet time, the family changed into their matching Tai Chi outfits, white cotton pants and long black cotton jackets. When their father led them outside and toward the beach, both Shen and Luan were horrified.

“We’ll look like stereotypes,” Luan whispered to her brother. “A Chinese family practicing martial arts in matching outfits.

“Can’t we do Tai Chi by the hot tub, Father?” Shen asked. “There is more than enough room up on the deck and it has a view of the ocean.”

“Do not ask questions to which you already know the answer. A connection to the chi of the earth is a vital part of the exercise.”

As they exited the house Luan pulled her hair back and used a rubber band to create a pony tail. Her black hair fell to her shoulder blades and had a tendency to flip into her face when doing Tai Chi. While Luan liked her long hair she sometimes thought that it would be nice to wear it short like her mother. Ting-lan’s hair barely touched her shoulders.

When the Huang family walked onto the crowded boardwalk, Luan’s fears were realized. Several people pointed at the family and a couple people even laughed. They made their way onto the beach and found an area not occupied by people lying on beach towels, playing volleyball, throwing Frisbees or generally showing off their bodies. Luan and the rest of the Huang family had never understood the desire to lie on a beach for hours on end, doing nothing except increase the chances of skin cancer.

As Kang led them through a session of Tai Chi, Luan had to admit that the beach was a nice location despite the audience. The warm sand felt great on her feet as the sun warmed her face. She ignored the people around her and concentrated on breathing in the fresh, ocean air. They were nearly finished with their workout when a group came upon them that were impossible to ignore.

“Joey, check out Mulan,” a muscular man in his early twenties yelled. He was shirtless, deeply tanned, and had glistening, black hair. Tribal tattoos circled both arms. “You can karate chop me any time, sweetheart.”

“When you get sick of Dim Sum you can try out my Italian sausage,” Joey said who was just as muscular and tan as his buddy.

“Leave the chink girl alone, Gino,” a young woman said. She had her raven hair piled high on her head and wore a black bikini that barely covered her artificial breasts.

“Gia’s right,” said another young woman in a nasal whine. She too had a fake tan to go along with her fake boobs. “Besides, I’m hungry and you promised me a dinner at Fabio’s”

“Give it a rest, Adriana,” Gino said as he glared at his companion. “We’ll eat when I say.”

Shen stopped following his father’s movements and stepped toward Gino. “You need to apologize to my sister.”

“I don’t need to do nothing, chop sticks,” Gino slammed his chest into Shen’s and knocked him down. Although Shen was a few inches taller, Gino had him in weight and all of it from sculpted muscles.

Ting-lan ran over to Shen and helped him stand. “Please do not fight.”

“You better step off, mama-chan,” Adriana said as she pulled a cigarette from her purse. “Gino’s been spoiling for a fight all day and he’s always wanted to go up against someone who knows chopsocky.”

Luan raced to Joey and then pushed on his chest. “Leave my brother alone. We don’t want any trouble.”

“Give Joey a kiss and we’ll leave you guys alone,” Gino said.

“Give Joey a kiss and I’ll kick your slant-eyed ass, bitch.” Gia stepped forward, her face an inch from Luan’s.

“That is enough,” Kang said. “There will be no fighting. Ting-lan, Shen, Luan step back.”

Ting-Lan and her children stepped away from the trouble makers.

“There’s going to be a fight, old man,” Joey said. “If you want to get your ass kicked instead Hop Sing Jr., it’s fine with us.”

Kang stood silently, his hands at his sides, his feet shoulder width apart.

“If that’s how you want it,” Gino said and then threw a punch straight at Kang’s nose.

The punch didn’t land. He threw another and Kang dodged that one as well. Kang’s body barely moved as he avoided every punch that Gino threw. When Joey got into the act Kang got a whole lot more animated, leaping, twisting and even rolling to avoid their fists. A crowd began to form.

“Fuck this shit,” Gia said as she removed a small black tube from her purse.

“Look out, Father,” Luan yelled as a jet of liquid flew from the device in Gia’s hand and into Kang’s face.

“You want some too, bitch?” Gia said as she pointed the pepper spray at Luan.

Kang’s hands shot to his face and Gino landed a punch. Kang went down and then Joey kicked him. Shen ran forward to help his father just as a police siren wailed from the boardwalk. Joey and his crew looked to the sound and then ran down the beach in the opposite direction. A half a minute later a uniformed policeman ran after the group as another stopped and checked on Kang.

“Are you all right sir? Do you need medical attention?”

“I will be fine. Please go help your fellow officer.”

“Stay here, we will need a statement.” The policeman ran after his partner.

Shen helped his father to a sitting position. Although Kang tried to hide it, Shen could tell that he was in pain.

“Perhaps medical attention would be wise, dear,” Ting-lan said as she knelt next to her husband, her face twisted with worry.

“It is nothing that a good night’s sleep will not cure, my love.”

A few minutes later another set of police arrived and took everyone’s statement. Afterwards the family was led to a police van where Gino and Joey sat with their hands handcuffed behind their backs.

“Are these the gentlemen who assaulted you, sir?” the police officer asked Kang.

“I do not wish to press charges, officer,” Kang said.

“We do not need you to press charges, sir. We just need you to answer the question truthfully.”

“Yes officer, the gentleman on the left punched me and the one on the right kicked me in the ribs.”

The family returned home and Shen helped his father to his bedroom. Kang’s eye was swollen and he clutched his left side. Ting-lan filled a couple plastic bags with ice, placed one on Kang’s face and the other on his ribs.

“Mother, I would like to go down the boardwalk to do some shopping,” Luan said.

“I do not want you out there with those ruffians,” Ting-lan said.

“I need a swim suit for tomorrow. The one I have no longer fits well.”

“Your mother has spoken, Luan.”

“Yes, Father,” Luan said, looking at the ground.

Some Laura Catherine Vinicombe

HR SEXUAL HARASSMENT TRAINING by BimboIsBetter

Georgia read the letter without any real surprise. She had to attend a sexual harassment seminar. This was a weird policy that her company somehow found appropriate - if a sexual harassment complaint was filed, both the person accused and the accuser had to attend a sexual harassment training course. The idea, so far as Georgia could tell, was to go over both what defined sexual harassment, how to avoid it, and how to deal with it when it did happen to crop up.

She tried not to be too angry about it. She had probably overreacted, anyway. Mr. McRea, her boss, was definitely a bit of a pig but normally limited it to stolen glances and borderline inappropriate, but overall harmless, pet names. It wasn’t until he began commenting on the tightness of her blouses, and the length of her skirts, that Georgia quietly sent an email to HR.

The response was quick. That was just yesterday, and now she was holding an official, hand-delivered “be at this place at this time" notice about the training course. It’d start tomorrow, first thing. It would be a bit of a pain - she had a lot of work to do - but it was good to get it over with. Plus, with any luck, Mr. McRea would learn something.

The next morning, she reported to the location in the letter - conference room D, sixth floor. She had never been here before. It was a smallish room, really only big enough for the conference table in the middle of it, the chairs around the table, and the projector and screen on one end. There were two other women in the room - a youngish girl she didn’t recognize, and a woman from HR. Georgia recognized her - she didn’t know her personally, but she knew her name was Linda.

“Ah, good, Georgia - right on time.” Linda said. “This is Sarah,“ she said, gesturing to the other girl, who gave a small wave. “Now that you’re both here, we can begin.”

Linda dimmed the lights and turned on the projector. The company logo filled the screen. “We’re here to talk about sexual harassment, of course. Both of you claim to have been on the receiving end of that recently. We’re going to discuss how to avoid that.“

Georgia wasn’t thrilled with how this was starting - ‘claim’? And was it really her responsibility to work to avoid being harassed? Should the people doing the harassing be the ones who need to make some changes? She bit her tongue, though, as Linda continued on.

She clicked, and the screen changed, showing a young woman at her desk. A man was sitting on the end of the desk, smiling at her. He was leaning towards her, she was leaning away. She wasn’t returning the smile.

“What’s the root cause of sexual harassment? I don’t claim to be a psychologist, but actual sexual desire is probably only a small portion of it. The feeling of control, the thrill of the chase, the excitement of temptation - these are major factors. These men - your bosses, in both of your cases - are hard-working men with a lot expected of them. It may not be right, but we shouldn’t be surprised they look to you for a bit of… relaxation. Release.”

Georgia was horrified. This was the course she had to take? Sit in a room and listen to some sort of… apologist for sexual harassers? She wasn’t sure who she complained to when she had a complaint about HR, but she was sure as hell going to find out. Linda was continuing before she got a chance to say anything.

The next screen showed a girl at her desk, typing on her computer. A man in a suit stood next to her, leaning in, reading over her shoulder. His arm was around her, resting on the shoulder on the opposite side. She looked tense, uncomfortable, but… she also was peering up at him out of the corner of her eyes. It was hard to place the look in those eyes. Nervousness? Sure. Anger? No, not really. Desire? A need for approval? A wish to please? All possible. Linda started speaking, interrupting Georgia’s train of thought.

“I’m not trying to say that this is acceptable behavior, mind you. However, it’s a reality of the modern workplace. Wouldn’t it be better, rather than fighting and causing problems, to find a way to work with people who we have problems with, rather than against them?”

The context was uncomfortable, but Georgia had to admit that made sense. Even in this case, Mr. McRae was a pig, but she didn’t want to get him in trouble, or see him punished. She just wanted him to learn to change his behavior. If there was a way for her to act differently that would help him with that, it was worth considering.

A new screen came up. A man stood in a boardroom, making some sort of presentation. Around the table, amidst the group of men, was one woman. Her blouse was open the slightest bit, and the man making the presentation was leaning over covertly, glancing down her blouse. The other men didn’t seem to notice, but she clearly did. She was looking up at him coyly, smiling a bit, seeming to draw her shoulders back cooperatively, thrusting her chest out.

“The men you work for… well, they’re hired and employed for their ability to solve problems. They work hard each day, attacking the day’s trials and tribulations and challenges. As we agreed, it’s normal for them to view you as something to be chased, something that tempts them.”

Georgia tore her eyes away from the screen for a second. Had they agreed on that? Linda had said it, but…

“So,” Linda continued, “it follows that it’s natural that we’d expect these men to pursue you. After all, they solve problems. They overcome challenges. That’s what they’re wired for. And you, with your resistance to their advances, have made it clear - I am a challenge.“

Georgia blinked slowly. She didn’t feel like a challenge. Couldn’t she just be not interested? Why was rejection a challenge to be overcome? This line of thought was broken by a new image on the screen.

A woman in a skirt was walking through an office door, past a man. The man had reached out, tugging her skirt up a bit. Rather than stop him, or push past, or say anything, she seemed to have slowed down, twisted a bit, thrusting her ass out at him, tossing her hair as she looked over her shoulder. His touch, it seemed, turned her from a professional woman in an office to a skirt-and-heels sex kitten.

“Sarah,” Linda said, “why don’t you tell us why you’re here? What was the nature of your complaint against Mr. Atkins?“

Sarah’s reply came slowly, as though she were calling on the phone from the other side of the planet. “He said… well, joked… implied that I should… blow him. For a raise.” Her voice was thick, syrupy, strange. Georgia wasn’t sure what was happening to her.

Linda nodded sagely. “Thank you. And you, Georgia?“

“Mr. McRae…” she said, surprised to hear her voice sound odd, just like Sarah’s, “He… said he liked my skirt, but… shorter’s better. And tighter. And I should open… more buttons on my blouse.“

Linda nodded again. “That’s very good, thank you girls.”

Georgia smiled a little, feeling oddly proud. She saw Sarah sit back, and she could tell the other girl felt the same wave of pleasure she did.

Again, the screen changed. A woman was against a wall, her boss all but on top of her. His arm braced against the wall, keeping her in place. His head was buried in her neck, mouth on her collarbone. His other hand was sliding up her skirt, grasping her upper inner thigh. Her head was back, her eyes closed, one arm clutching his shoulder. He was an a****l, taking what was his. She was a yielding prize for him.

Georgia felt her mouth water.

“You have two choices,” Linda said, “and the choice is yours alone. Your boss made a suggestion to you. You can ignore it. But as we’ve discussed, these suggestions are to be expected from men in their position. If you continue to be resistant, challenging, defiant, well, they will continue to try and solve the problem you present. Does that make sense, girls?“

Georgia’s eyes never left the screen as she nodded. “Yes…” she whispered. She heard Sarah do the same.

The screen changed again. A woman, on her knees. A man, in his office chair, leaning back, legs spread. She knelt between his legs. He smirked down at her. She looked up at him with longing. Her hands were on his knees, reaching up, needy.

“The other option,” Linda told them as they drank in the image, “is to work with him. Try what he asks. Try to find some middle ground. If he knows you aren’t a problem, he’ll be easier to work with. Isn’t that right, girls?“

Both of them nodded, both sighed “Yes…”

The image changed again. A man, standing, his suit perfect. His fly was open, and his hard cock was sticking out. At his feet knelt a nude girl, her lips wrapped around his cock, gazing worshipfully up at him. Georgia heard Sarah gasp sharply, an intake of breath that quickly turned into a moan.

Georgia could barely think. Mr. McRae wanted her in tight blouses, short skirts. She knew that was wrong… or at least, she had thought so… but now, somehow, doing as he said seemed good, right, professional. She wasn’t being slutty, or degrading, or any of the things she imagined all this would be. She was just doing her best to work with her boss.

The images were changing more quickly now. Linda was still talking, but Georgia wasn’t listening. She was just watching, and thinking about Mr. McRae, and what she’d wear for him. She was imagining him laying out outfits for her, dressing up like a doll for him, buying new heels to please him. The images were more and more sexual - women being fucked on boardroom tables, women stripped nude and kept under the desk, women bound and blindfolded and shown off to clients. Georgia heard Sarah moaning next to her, and felt her own sweat dripping down her brow, and wondered when it was that she’d opened her slacks and started rubbing herself. Whether it was before Sarah had, or after. Whether they’d thought of it, or if Linda had ordered them. In that moment, Linda said “Cum, girls.“ And they did, and everything came crashing down.

Mr. McRae would be in any minute. Georgia looked down at herself, fixing her blouse a bit, making sure it hung open just so. She turned a bit, on her hands and knees on his desk, trying to make sure he’d get the perfect view when he entered. He’d probably be confused, finding that she wasn’t at her desk. She thought he’d like the surprise.

This would be the first time she’d see him since the class, and she wanted to be sure that he knew she learned everything well. She was ready to work with him now, and make their workplace pleasant and productive, in any way she could.

She heard him approaching, and picked up the letter. She needed him to sign off, saying that she’d completed her mandatory training. She took it in her teeth, thinking he’d like it delivered that way.

The knob turned. She shivered with excitement.

Halle Diez Part 2

Halle Diez Part 1